Depression, Anxiety, Family Issues, Suicide! Don't let it in!

Do not let the forces of evil or current world events destroy what is so important. FAMILY!

How many relationships are under stress at this time?

As in any relationship, will we all bring to it our own challenges, our own history our very own story that the other can't truly understand! At best, they might be able to relate and acknowledge certain similarities in their own life. But to truly understand the other person in the most intimate way is a very daunting task if it’s even possible.

Men are from Mars, Woman from Venus; we have been told, shown and provided examples of how different we are wired from each other. But yet, together, if two are desiring the same outcome, can and have always been the perfect fit for each other. We each can provide to the relationship the other point of view. Ying and Yang, Positive and Negative, Up and Down; all opposites that work harmoniously together. I see this as synergy!

So, what happens when a crisis hits, when adversity hits, when what is happening around us affects us so prominently, how will we react? How do we see ourselves? How do we see those around us?

For as long as mankind has been on the face of the earth there has been adversity. Since the beginning, we have had to face challenges. We were challenged to find food, to find shelter, to find heat, running water. We were challenged by the elements around us. At one point in time, we were even challenged knowing we were food for species much larger than us. And our history tells us that we were even challenged globally by cataclysmic events. And yet, we have endured.

It is no secret that NOW we are facing another big challenge. One that no one really knows the truth about! How this virus came to be? Where did it really come from? Why or how did it even start? But in reality, those answers are not as important as understanding how these circumstances can affect, ourselves, in our own lives, in our own homes with our own families!

The truth is that many people have lost their jobs. With no savings before, now they have nothing. Many of those families who don’t have money, have children. They also have responsibilities such as rent, groceries, electricity, phone bills, Internet bills, maybe a car payment. The list goes on and on. It’s a hard reality to be going through a shutdown on a global scale and then to have to ask the government for a measly hand out that will not meet our responsibilities. But what is worse yet is what is happening to one’s own psyche! Now you will start to see men and women feeling like their failing, feeling they have not lived up to the expectations that they have set for themselves. To see that they cannot provide for their families. And if these thoughts start to grow, the outcome can be devastating!

Unfortunately, this is another challenge that many people are facing. And in all too many cases, many won’t show what’s going on inside of them as they tend to keep in silence. They will try to be strong, they will fight to find a way, but if opportunities are slim and the total population is so affected, the chances of finding a way out in this time is a very big hurdle for them to get over.

When this stress hits your home, it will affect everyone. And since many of the Baby Boomers and most of the Millennials have not been subjected to this type of situation, how they might respond or react will be based on habitual reactions rather than looking at the current situation and seeing it as a unique or atypical situation.

Reactions will have many people fighting, fighting with others or amongst themselves. They will argue and defend and subsequently, fracture at the seams elevating the negativity of the situation 10 fold. Instead, people need to come together and fight this challenge as one strong unit! If people do not come together, you will see families breaking apart and allowing what’s happening outside of their home to destroy what’s happening on the inside of their home. You will see friends, business partners, people, in general, taking their eyes off the real issues and instead displacing all that frustration and agitation where it doesn't belong.

Let's look at the family of today; after all, in my opinion, the family should be the cornerstone of morality, integrity, and lessons on how to be the best persons we can be. However, we live in a time now where many people do not fight to save, but instead, fight to get out. We are living in a time where people sign prenuptial agreements before they get married because they know that they cannot trust the situation well enough to leave themselves unprotected in case of the inevitable demise.

In the '50s, '60s or the '70s, the children were taught if you were to make a commitment, you value your decision and you do whatever it takes to stick it out. Yes, there were those who took advantage of this valuable trait and brought misery and trouble that was unbearable. But not everyone! Because of their value in family, many of those who did make the commitment believed that they would have to fight at times to save the relationship. And they were prepared to do so. Where are these people now? They are your grandparents and great grandparents. Today it’s too easy to walk away, and so now people go into relationships protecting themselves because of distrust already preparing for the end!

That saying, when the going gets tough, the tough get going. Didn’t mean people left each other, it meant that they stood by each other through thick and thin and they filled in the gap’s where ever they needed to. In tough situations there was no his and hers, there was just “theirs”.

Self-interest used to go out of the window when struggles hit. People would band together, not just families, but extended families and communities and countries. They would all come together to support one another to ensure nobody was left without anything. Especially for the children! But I don’t see that happening so much anymore. I see more people saying what about me, or this is mine, or I’m not going to do that.

If a man and a woman have a child together, and the man or the woman is out of work because of the scenario, the other one automatically steps up and takes care of everyone without even a question. There’s not even a word, there isn’t even a second thought. That is of course when you are for the survival of your family. If the man loses his income, and it’s a woman who still works, she would be doing the same automatically stepping up to the situation and taking care of everything that needs to be taken care of because she’s not doing something because she is expected to, she does it for the survival of the family.

In the 50s or 60s, the pressure on the man would’ve been much greater. And he would’ve put more pressure on himself than anyone else. And since back in those days it was mostly men who worked and women were the housewives, the responsibility fell on the man to take care of everything without question. So if this current pandemic happened then, and the men had no money, then more than likely there was no hope. Depression crept in and instead of living with feeling a failure, many men succumbed to suicide. In 1929, the Great Depression saw in the first year 40,000 men commit suicide. Currently, U.S. Suicide Rates Are the Highest They've Been Since World War II.

We don’t live in a time like those days anymore, we live in a time where women work, as well. So on the one hand, our situations are safeguarded because there are two incomes. There would be two people there to protect the family and the survival of the family. So what happens, if all the needs of the family are not met?

Well, what you have is a very big conflict at a very wrong time. And what then tends to happen, since we are in a time where people don’t fight to save, they instead fracture and tear the whole family structure apart. Maybe the mother and the children go in one direction and the father in another direction. Regardless of who made the decision, the amount of pain and suffering as a result of this decision will long be felt. The children who grow up through this life feeling abandoned, they will feel that it was their fault, when we all know looking back it was never there fault at all. But in later years we’re going to have to deal with that, we’re going have to deal with hurt children who now are hurt adults, and whose lives have been altered by circumstances out of their control.

This pandemic situation that’s happening in our society and in our world right now is going to put a magnifying glass on relationships. It’s going to separate the strong ones from the weak ones, it’s going to shine a light on those who have too big of an ego’s, or who do not want to take responsibility. It’s going to separate the men from the boys and the women from the girls. This is a time to adopt the mentality that they had in generations past! That being, you stand by each other through thick and thin. Did you fight for your family? Did you sacrifice yourself for them? Did you do all that you could do? Or did you put yourself first and your family second?

All the trials and tribulations WILL end. This pandemic WILL pass. The pandemics of the past are of the past. Life has been in existence for 4 billion years, the world isn’t going anywhere, we will survive this and we will survive many more things in the future. But what we have to start to look at is surviving what happens in our home, in our hearts, and in our minds. We have to save our own foundation, we have to go back to a mentality where we put the family first, even when personally one might not be getting all that they need. In the end, we are still human and we all still make mistakes but we shouldn’t make the mistake of passing our weaknesses over onto our children and make them suffer for today and then for the rest of their lives.

For confirmation, we need not look past our own lives and look at our own upbringing and ask ourselves if what we went through growing up caused us to be as we are today. Was our nurturing experience growing up positive or negative? And how did we internalize that experience and did we pass it onto our own children? Do we pass on the negatives of our own childhood or do we give them better? Do we stand up and meet the challenge that life throws at us and instead of quitting and walking away and fragmenting a family, do we not stand together and change the past issues for a better future for ourselves and our children?

Whatever you do please do not make harsh decisions in a harsh time as this. Nobody should be making decisions if you are depressed, fighting anxiety or under extreme pressure!

What is happening now with many people being stuck in their homes, out of work, no money, no food, the future uncertain is causing depression. People are feeling helpless and worthless and this is becoming a real challenge for them. Suicide becomes a way out for some. But there’s no need for this. If we stand together with those closest to us and be there to support and to encourage and to lift up one another we will get through it at home as well.

This is the time to start acting as human beings with empathy and care and love for ourselves and each other. We do not have to fall victim to the pressures of what’s happening around us. As long as we have each other, and we feel loved and appreciated and cared for, then not only will our families, not fragment, but neither will our communities and our country.

Stay safe, be strong! Keep your mind protected and everything will work out in the end. The world has worked out for over 4 billion years. So why not now?

Further reading material:

Psychiatrists Beware! The Impact of COVID-19 and Pandemics on Mental Health

©2019 by Holistic Health by JFX