My Question: Why does it seem that so few are FIGHTING to save the nuclear family, love, and relationships anymore. Why are people just investing short periods of time, until such time as there is a wrinkle and instead of soldiering on, they instead turn their back, walk out the door and quit! WHY?
"... Manhood changed over the years, John. It’s always been in transition of course as change is inevitable. But in the last 50 years, we have seen radical changes in manhood. Some pioneered new ways of being a man and some did not manage the change as they held strong to the traditional ideas of manhood in their insecurity. The changes in manhood and consequently in fatherhood were brought about by different sources and factors. It is such a complex case.
Men are still currently changing towards the new cultures. Targets are also being set subtly and openly. The problem is that some of these are set by women! The new romanticized ideals of manhood are bound to fail as many are leaving out the biological predispositions and expect men to culturally 'feminize' themselves even biologically.
Differences in gender are not appreciated, studied, let alone promoted in the yearning for a cultural sense of equality, which of course is just in principle and a disaster in practice. The mistakes being made by all in the name of equality go unnoticed..."
"... I agree with the change in the man’s position and some changes I agree with. Anything that might bring about more balance to the roles especially as they pertain to relationships, I think is good. As long as both men and women can understand that we both have glaring differences in the way we are “wired” and some of those can’t be changed nor should they be changed. I would hate to see men have the man bred out of their existence just to further support women’s needs just to fail to get theirs met.
I believe our differences to a large part are what is needed to get a full and complete understanding and perspective of everyday issues to further the nuclear family.
It seems though, to me, that a great man in these days already has a good balance from their instinctive roots blended together with what is needed to make it in this age. I’m not saying all men for I doubt all men have the desire to conform to the newer model, and I do believe that insecurity has a lot to do with that, as well as ego. But when the new man presents himself to the woman of today, I have seen all around, a complete lack of understanding of this new image, I’ve seen a lack of respect for it and I also see what I might say an automatic defense to it. Almost an attack. Maybe because it’s not trusted as being genuine which I can understand mistrust for I think women for a very long time have held the short end of the stick and have not got the respect due to them for all they offer. Maybe this newer model man might reflect its counterpart that in this when we choose to adopt the “new ways” we can do it, where maybe some or most women are not ready for it even though they have repeatedly asked for it.
Why do I see so many men who still have a lack of respect, who live by the old rule of the king of the castle, and rule with iron fists and yet have loving women who commit their lives to them through thick and thin and yet seldom leave? Then on the other hand I see women who won’t fight through the tougher time’s (though just normal relationship struggles) to make it work with a man who believes in equality, fairness, communication, acceptance of mistakes, still is chivalrous and still values the women’s position and also sticking it out believing in commitment..."
What is it?
"... I know many great strong men who know how to love their women in an unconditional way only to be completely taken over, ruled, and subsequently, lose their families to be yet again alone asking this question ...why?
Would they be better off being the man of old, would this resolve the dilemma? If we are evolving to change to better suit the women of this time, then should not women be evolving to change closer too? Or is it their time to take hold of the crown and instead of closing the gap, now are extending it, but in their own favor and leaving behind the institutions of marriage and families?..."
AN AMAZING INSIGHTFUL ANSWER:
"...There's no marriage as our predecessors knew it. There's no union, church, or state. Marriage has become just a legal matter, or rather cultural-legal, more than anything. The sense of commitment has changed, as did the sense of partnership, individuality, intimacy, love, sacrifice, suffering and pain, and so on.
My generation and the one before reared children to be individuals, narcissistic egoists and to think about one's personal good and not the common good!
Thinking about the common good is one of the basic most needed capacities in long term effective relationships. The shift from the "me" to the "we" is not being made John. Couples marry separately, with different plans and different bank accounts, and different dreams they would eventually pursue singularly. Insomma long story. I'm going to stop here ghax ghandi x nghamel..."
My Final Response:
"... And this is what makes me feel this “global empire” is nearing its end. We collectively are not in a good place at all. I believe the nucleus or foundation of all life for us humans comes down to love, family, morals, integrity, and an innate understanding of what is right and wrong, and when that is discarded so easily as it is today, where the fragmenting of these ways is abundant, it leaves me feeling very sad about our futures, and wishing I was born in a much different time..."
You’re a wise man! I have always respected your take on things!
Keep well and thanks for your awesome insight